Once in a while I find myself wondering how much did my parents raise me into this individual I am or did I just built myself up to this nature on my own. It's the longest battle of my life, trying to separate which thoughts and views we're implanted at young age and which perspectives are the driving force that I've harnessed myself.
The reason for the wondering is my tendency of being a bit gullible. I generally have stupidly good faith in other human beings yet so many times I've found myself carved off the path I chose because I got body checked by the competition. Somehow the longer I survive on the walk of life, the more I get proved otherwise. There's no common good in all of us, there's no common rules for treating people, it's always the survival of the fittest.
That's why I feel close to the animal ideology of lone wolfs, call myself a black bear and generally choose to spend some nights on my own rather than swinging from a roof top party half drunk. General public calls it introversion, I call it being happy on my own. It's a vital trait to survive when it's not an option to be dependable on others. Yeah, now you're laughing.
In my surreal case, I've been going through so many thorns I eventually developed my own. So if you're wondering why I'm not the easiest of all people to get on board with your plans, here's the answer. Words mean nothing if there's no mutual trust in the mix.
As for being a lone wolf, they always say old dogs don't learn new tricks. I beg to disagree. Life is all about changes and the mind is a vivid living map that can tremble on any heartbeat. Once in a while someone special comes into the mix and turns half the map into the fields of dreams, making you stare at the canvas.
That's the time and place when you realize it might be wiser to throw that half empty milk carton out of your fridge. While it's still in your hand, take a hard look at the expiration date. Like that expired milk carton, your life, your goals, your love life and most of all..your future plans have "best before" date.
The learning process of giving up once in a while is painful but it's necessary. Just try to make the right choices. Shifting through life missing every opportunity is a nightmare I would not imagine even for my worst enemy.
Take a leap of faith. You might eventually surprise yourself.
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